makes me confused between imagination and reality at first +.+
i suck becoming bang mireu...OTL

the hurtful feeling when you feel like crap about everything happened in the world but have nobody to talk to because your thought is not that important and stupid.

it's ironic how my last post was about me talking how I love Welcome To The Block, now I'm back here typing in tears about the problem my boys has gotten. 
I love them. I don't want them to change. 
But because of stupid netizen and stupid fangirl they want Block B to disband. dis fucking band.
this is what i got for loving a group so much for their music and fun personalities? I'm done saying how I  done mind critizing my boys when they did wrong. I'm not delusionally defend them.
I cried three times today because of this matter. I probably in melancholic mode right now, but I have to be strong and believe that everything will be okay.

I hate how the music is not important at this point.

IS FUCKING PERFECT, I TELL YOU. I've waited this album for months and Woo Jiho didn't disappoint me at all. AT ALL. And it feels like he's taking it to another level for the group. If they don't get more recognition from this album, there's something wrong with kpop industry, tbh. And it seems the members' voices are more polished than the previous album? 
Every single track, it's awesome from the first to the last second. OMG. I can't calm down and I come to livejournal to make long spazz bout it. And 5 out of 6 in top 10 real-time charts!!! wtf that's pure awesomeness there!! i wish them lots of luck! I hope they win one of the chart (and it will be hit in the face if they got #1 in KBS lol, tho it's kinda impossible to happen cause the other idols comeback too T_T)
I didn't expect to listen to mid-tempo songs in this album, but the last three tracks are awesome as well. And LOL is such an unf. And the dance for I Go Crazy will be fun to watch :D awuh I can't wait +_+

and a little note for Zico's words bout the leaked album, tbh yes I downloaded it illegally, but baby I pre-ordered the LIMITED! Not only because of your face, but because of the music. And I regret nothing. With amazing tracks like these, I won't complain bout the package guys!

And I hope I can get B.A.P's Warrior for my birthday teehee *sending signal to my sister, mom or dad for giving me extra money in March XD*
B.A.P is pure awesomeness as well. Damn it this kid name Daehyun with the awesome voice +_+

but what bothers me the most is, as A+, I didn't tell anyone that...I'm...not really impressed with MBLAQ's 100%Ver.
There, I said it.
The only track that I listen is Scribble/Nakseo/Graffiti. Even This Is War is not really appealing to me. This album is too...Oneway. I love Oneway, don't get me wrong, but album like Mona Lisa is better than 100%Ver. Tho, G.O's voice dominated the album, but the quality is better imo. idk. Hello My Ex and Jittery Girl are fun songs, but maybe because MBLAQ is still in the "searching-music-style" phase, the different sounds in every single album kinda confused me.
I have to say that, when I listened to BLAQ STYLE, I told myself "this is the style. dark, heavy beat. This is MBLAQ." Mona Lisa album was a surprise, but still impressive at some point. But 100%Ver...i can't feel it. yet.

Oh God I'm an hardcore A+ but I hate myself when I'm over-criticized my ultimate bias group. I really love MBLAQ so much, but to me, I better not lie if I don't like something. Cause pretending is pretty tiring. 

Okay goodnight. it's almost 1 am, I better sleep^^

whoa livejournal it's been a long time \o/
last time i was here i ranted about something silly I can't remember -_- sorry

anyway, stopping by to check if there's any new album that i can download illegaly... (bad me, eh ?)
now i'm busy-not-too-busy with my thesis. I want to graduate next year, please cross your fingers for me. Just because after I graduate, I can do whatever I want to do. I'm still planning to write a book, one of my biggest passion, actually, but mostly I've written fanfic only -_- my original fic is actually too cheesy and the idea is too general. I need to step it up by reading more books...

also, another change from me. this change that seems big for me, because of the new sensation, kpop industry, I start listening to more hip-hop-ish song. But my region is still around korean artist, so I still don't know that much =_=. not that 50cent style (God I don't like that guy at all....) I want to find something like Eminem or JayZ. 
and I've been listening to this kid's mixtape, the boy named Zico the member of hip hop korea boyband Block B. damn he's cool ! not because he's cute and such a troll, but he's purely talented.

i need to stop now or i'll talk about kpop non-stop. I've been ranting bout lots of stuffs here and there. i better shut now.


end this !

lately i've been thinking to delete my personal twitter... feels a bit lonely there. when i'm on, nobody's there to talk to. i know that no one would care for what i'm saying, but it seems i distance from my real friends. T.T i really think i should give up, but have other account is tiring to make.

when they're on, feels like i'm not there. i've hold everyting by myself, and when i can't take it anymore, all the words i typed were harsh and arrogant. wtf am i ?
T.T

because of these five guys, I start questoning my purpose as human being. Maybe I barely know anything about their personal life, their past and their future, but living in present time with them is a good thing. I feel blessed for this unknown power of destiny giving me them as my strength, as my inspiration. To make me realize what I want in life, what kind of people I should be. I haven't stepped the last staircase yet, life itself is a long journey.
With all of these positive responds on the music industry in one day, although I don't have huge expectation toward the new song, but I wish them all the best, all the happiness and good health.
It's weird how through music you can find someone or some people who don't know that you're existed. How you want to continue support each other although both of you are completely stranger.
So for these strangers, I'm staying, until we or one of us lost everything which is important in life.
I have lots of things to say to them, but simplicity is part of me, I'm a person who's not good with words. But I believe word is one of the most important thing in human's life, to understand and trust each other. But a simple word like 'thank you' can move your soul and open your heart.

Thank you, five eagles.

whoa it's been a while~ lololol

bcz of a friend who sent me a reply via this site, I suddenly feel i need to post a thing or two here~
i've left you for a while and I see you're improving a little, LJ, ;_; so proud so proud >.<

what's the thing i should share here ?
uhm, well let's talk about my upcoming trip to Bali to watch Paramore concert ! fuckyeah it finally happens
the bitter fact is i'm not sure my dad will allow me to watch it, since I only have one company to go in August, and how my friends don't want to go because Bali is pretty boring -_________- BUT DAD I ALREADY PAID ;A; PLEASE LET ME GO~~~~~
well sorry for asking to company Indonesian citizen like me who never go to Bali ever... pfft...if i fail to go to the concert, let me blame you people...let me blame you.
since i have no one to trust nowadays, and people are forgetting me, then let me reply you in childish way : i'll be an ignorant person -_________________-
i was born '89, a snake, who keeps the grudge inside and release it slowly~

and the second rant, this world called kpop....
how can I describe this world in a word .... TIRING.
those immature fangirls who go "oppa oppa saranghae / omg you're dating her ? i'm leaving / oh em geeh he's so cute, so i'll start to listen to their music" LE FFUCK !!

i do fangirling sometimes and do crazy talk when I see gorgeous pictures or bad things happen, but please consider that these idols are human too !! is it that hard ? yes go crey crey over them when you found them dating someone you don't like, but why stop supporting them and their music ?!
these kids -sigh- gah i'm so mad at this that i can't type it in proper words, only cursing words will come out.

and these stupid fanwars "my oppas is better than yours because they won those music charts"
i was like ... eh ?
when I listen to american / british music, I've never dealt with this situation. I mean, kpop is not bigger than american/british music yet, so why these girls so confident to say they're better than the other ? i really don't get it why so much drama in this world's new obsession ?
some of the groups can't even sing well, although they trained and debuted earlier than the rookies...some groups also did lip-synch on stage, so when you watched the MR removed video, you will go blah and throw bad comments toward them--like me. i'm not deaf, i can hear what's good or not. Even if my fave groups didn't do excellent job and showing great singing skills/off pitch, I'm not afraid to say that they're not so good that day...
winning music chart only proves that your oppas are more popular than the others, because more people bought their albums and the possibility to win the annual award. I myself more satisfied if their music progressively improve, and you can hear it through one album to another.  I thought an artist should be able to develop themselves, even every human being in this dying planet...
i personally glad that i'm lucky to have parents who listens to music legend, friends who taught me to play guitar and listen to more awesome music...so I can feel less dumb by choosing music more than the face--i learn that no one can be judge as ugly. beauty is an subjective matters, what you see and what you WANT to see on the outside can't describe what the inside.
i'm glad that i've found several groups that I consider talented for their different music and strong performance skills on stage. if these groups dissappear, then i give up in kpop.



whoa i even forget that LJ is such a relaxing place to rant, since nobody knows this account, kk~
anyway, this is my way to reconcile with LJ...lol bad, right ?

the boys will be back in July 15th, whoa
even the title is Mona Lisa
why...why...

because of my addiction of kpop, i will lose everything. my friends, my family, my social life.

i'm tired with all of these tasks, and spending my times with friends who already finished them makes me feel ashamed. well i know i'm not the loser one, but being different is hard, while my friends twitted about this and that, so thankful that they finally finished it.

i can't tell this feeling to anyone, even my family, they won't understand.
the only thing that entertain me nowadays is kpop, i know it's pathetic and how i become a hedonist without myself realized it on a first place.
kpop won't hurt me, all i need is to spend my time wisely--which is very hard to do. haha i'm still working on this one.

glad that i can work my tasks at home, so i don't have to meet my friends in college. i don't want them to support me with words like 'i'm sure you can do it', whatever. i don't need that.
if they care about me so much, i'd rather hear them saying, 'how's the progress ? is there anything i can do to help you ?'
but this evil dark side of mine tell me that it's 0,001% of chance they will ask it.
anyway it's almost time for the semester break, i can't bother them with my responsibility. i'll be a single fighter.

no matter what my friends think about me at the end of this semester, i hope everything gets better next time. i never meant to hurt them or whatsoever make them put an empathy on me. i'm okay. i'll be okay.

panda. so i can sleep or move slowly for a day. time's running nowadays. panda's life seems to be peaceful.


my LJ is getting useless. it's like a place for me to rant about everything in my life.